Dryvember Day 30: Can I Drink Yet?

Well, here it is. Dryvember day 30. I made it. Or did I? I know I’ve been quiet on the blog recently, which is a bit of a shame. Posting about my experience during No Drink November felt good, and it kept me honest in terms of putting ass to chair and writing. So, what happened? Well, I got busy at work. And, I started to feel like I had nothing to say. We all know the saying about if you have nothing to say keep your trap shut, right?

Plus, I got bust at work, and had a slight bout of depression. Everything’s okay now, basically. I’m still feeling a bit depressed and work is still busy. But, I’m writing again. And that’s good. Furthermore, it’s not like I haven’t been nurturing my creative juices. I haven’t written anything, but I have made some notes about a few things. That’s not enough, I know, but it’s a start.

In the creative bummer department, though, I was unable to finish a short story in time for submission earlier this month. That hurt more than a rejection would’ve, and I know it would have been rejected. But, not finishing it hurts more because I didn’t give myself a chance for rejection. Oh well, I got it started and now I can finish it. The place I wanted to submit to runs open submissions every few months, so I am not completely out in the cold.

At any rate, it’s Dryvember day 30. It’s just after 7pm on a Saturday night here, and I am debating whether or not to drink. I bought some beer at the store earlier. Clearly, I was thinking about having a drink.

If I Drink Before Dryvember Day 30 Ends, Do I Fail?

Now, however, I’m not sure if I want a drink. There are a some reasons for this. One, is it cheating? I mean, I have 5 hours until December 1st, so if I drink before then, did I fail the 30 day Dryvember challenge? Technically speaking, the answer would have to be yes. But, does five hours make that much of a difference in these matters? I don’t know.

Two, if I drink now, or after midnight, what was the point of not drinking for thirty days? At the beginning, I said I was doing this to see if I could. And now that I have (essentially) done it, what do I do? Do I pat myself on the back and congratulate myself by cracking open a cold one? Or do I take a deep breath and bask in my victory for a little while? The last time I did this, I made it a few days past the deadline, which was nice. But then I started drinking again, anyway. I’m not ready to quit drinking entirely, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But again, I am forced to ask what is the point if I’m just going to tip some back as soon as the month ends?

Big Questions, Difficult Answers

There aren’t any easy answers to this question. I would like to say that the doing is the point. Thirty days (shy five or so hours) is nothing to shake a stick at. I can be proud of what I accomplished. Or, I can get down on myself for immediately falling into old patters. I do feel like I earned a drink after abstaining for the month. But is that what it’s really about? I don’t know. My gut says that maybe I don’t want to drink, and that’s why I’m having this discussion with myself. While my mind acknowledges what my gut’s saying, it says, “To hell with it. Have a drink. You only live once.” Both raise valid points.

Three, while I don’t have a lot to do tomorrow, I do have some things. And, waking up without hangovers (even if just on the weekends) has been nice. Then there is the danger of slipping back into heavy drinking again. I don’t see that happening tonight, but it’s a definite possibility. Though, they do say that those who abstain from alcohol for a month tend to drink less in the future. I haven’t necessarily found that to be true for me, but it’s possible.

Another consideration is that I have lost weight. It may not look like it, but I can feel it. And that feels good. I don’t generally get down on myself for my weight, but sometimes I do. Body issues are a thing for me on occasion, but I feel pretty good about myself right now. Sure, I’m still overweight, and I ate too much sugar this month. Have to replace the booze somehow.

Well, thanks for reading. I haven’t decided if I will drink tonight before midnight. But, if I do, I will be enjoying this:

The image shows a bottle of delirium tremens beer, the beer I will drink to celebrate my victory over Dryvember Day 30

So, that’s it for Dryvember and Day 30 in particular. Thanks for taking this journey with me and for reading along. This blog will soon return to regular irregular posting of reviews, weird thoughts, and other things. If you have something you want to say, say it in the comments. Until next time, may you have peace, love, and happiness in your lives.

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